Tackling Loneliness During the ‘Happiest Time of the Year’
The holidays are the time to get together with family and friends, share a meal, and celebrate getting through the year. However, it may not be ‘Joy to the World’ for all. Some families are still not able to gather since COVID-19 became part of our lives, or they may be isolated for more complicated reasons. There are many sensitive matters for individuals around the holidays that contribute to loneliness, such as grief and loss, religious trauma, political disputes, disordered eating, addictions, or financial difficulties, just to name a few. Whatever the cause, feelings of loneliness and isolation during the winter months are common for older adults, and these can be exemplified during the holiday season.
Loneliness is not to be taken lightly. In fact, the physical and mental effects of loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. For this reason, we take extra steps to ensure that older adults who belong to our Centre are being provided with emotional and social support. We have suggestions on how to keep yourself in good spirits during a time when you may not be feeling festive:
1. Look for Events and Programs in Your Community
Chances are you’re not alone in feeling alone. Local groups like social clubs, nonprofits, or churches often hold free or affordable get-togethers in their local communities. These fun and inclusive experiences can be a great opportunity to get to know people who live around you or discover new resources to improve your well-being.
At the Active Adult Centre, we’re happy to welcome you to our seasonal events where you can make new friends and be part of a thriving community of older adults, announced on our up-to-date home page.
2. Re-examine your Expectations
It seems like the end of every Christmas movie depicts opulent, cheerful settings where large family and friend groups enjoy dinner with plenty of laughs and hugs. Societal expectations demand everyone be merry and bright while exchanging lavish gifts, but this isn’t the reality of the Holidays for many people. It is perfectly okay to have, instead, an ‘imperfect’ Christmas: “There’s really no law stating my (or your) Christmas has to be any particular way or involve any particular feelings,” says nutritionist and author Sarah Garone in her 2018 essay Can’t Force the Feeling; “Instead, I commit to looking for whatever is good in the season, acknowledging it, and giving thanks for it. And wouldn’t you know it? Christmas is much more enjoyable when I do.”
3. Reflect on your Feelings
Self-reflection can be a powerful act of healing and can be done on your own, by talking to others, or with help from a counsellor or therapist, should you have access to one. When you start to consider the root causes of your feelings of isolation or depression, it’s possible to come up with ways to address or alleviate them. For example, if you experience lethargy during winter months, increasing your vitamin D intake (with recommendations from your doctor) might help you. If you’re feeling alone because you aren’t in contact with family, it may be an opportunity to set boundaries, or cultivate a chosen family. Sometimes, there may not be an identifiable reason at all for your feelings, and that’s okay too. Mental health challenges are not always perfectly logical – that’s why they’re called disorders. Remember there is nothing wrong with you, and the feeling is not permanent.
4. Be Gentle with Yourself
Although there are many tactics to ease Holiday Blues, sometimes the most effective thing to do is accept these emotions and work around them, rather than force yourself into feelings or activities you may not be comfortable with. Take the time to enhance your self-esteem with acts of self-care like a warm bath or watching a favourite movie. If you don’t have loved ones to spend the holidays with or have painful memories around the holidays, fill the day with things that bring you comfort and enjoyment. If you struggle with social interaction or feel tired, there’s no shame in limiting the amount of time spent at gatherings, or going to bed early. Listen to your body and mind’s needs when you feel stressed or tired.
If you feel lonesome or experience a change in your mental health, the province of Ontario has a number of support resources available for different groups, including older adults.
Call ConnexOntario anytime at 1-866-531-2600 or contact them online through email or chat